


Perfect

by absinthefae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Body Dysphoria, F/M, Insecurity, diets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:46:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5166020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absinthefae/pseuds/absinthefae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He loves you exactly the way you are. Now if only you could love yourself that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: Story contains eating disorders and warped self image

You loved your boyfriend, you really did. But when you stood beside him you just felt so...insecure. He had an entire mob of fans that just adored his every move and breath. His skin was flawless and smooth and he never had a single hair out of place of his signature flared hair style. You knew he cared for you. He had to, right? After all, out of the beautiful girls who surrounded him nearly night and day, he chose you. He showed you mass amounts of affection, a shouted flirt from the hallway, a series of kisses during lunch. But that was just how Oikawa was. He would do that with any person that he dated.  
When you looked in the mirror, all you could see were your faults. The small red bumps that popped up along your skin, your overgrown hair style that hung in your eyes and puffed out in disarray, the places on your body that were too soft to the touch, the places that bulged out. When you compared yourself to him, you couldn’t help but feel as though it was only pity that kept him with you, perhaps the result of a dare or bet that didn’t go his way. Loser has to date you for six months.  
As the tournaments grew closer and closer and he spent more time in practice, you felt more and more insecure. Although you knew he was at practice, you still wondered if maybe he was avoiding you.  
Maybe if you were perfect, like him, he would try and spend more time with you.

Your bathroom counter was soon covered in facial scrubs and cleansers, masques and moisturizers. You cut out magazine articles on step by step facials and how to make blemishes go away in a week or less and taped them onto your mirror. You promised yourself that the next time you two could go out properly you would be different. You would be slender and smooth all over and he would love you more than ever.  
It was addicting, stepping onto the scale to see that an extra pound or two had melted away. You would swallow back the growl of your stomach as you had long ago digested your miniscule breakfast, focus more and more on your teacher while you tapped away the minutes until lunch.  
As you predicted, the more you tried to change the more Oikawa hung around you. The more affection he seemed to show, more gentle caresses and talking between the two of you. You were positive it must be working, that soon you would be perfect just like he was.

You lugged your bag over your shoulder with a heavy groan. Maybe you just had a lot to study that night? Yeah, that would explain it. All your textbooks had to be why it seemed so heavy. Your footsteps were slow as you made your way toward your shoe locker, hands deep in the pockets on your cardigan. When had the hallways seemed so long? With each small step you took it just seemed to stretch on that much further.  
Before you could continue to trudge on you felt an arm on your shoulder, lifting your bag away before an arm went around your waist, supporting most of your weight so you were barely on the ground. You didn’t even have to look to know who it was, you knew his aroma anywhere. A cologne that was fresh and crisp, a slight tang of sweat and salt, and the coolness of sports drink on his breath.  
“Tooru…” You said softly. His charismatic smile that rested so naturally on his face was gone, replaced by a frown.  
“What are you doing (y/n)?” He asked as he looked at you from the corner of his eye as he walked down the hall and and stairs. Despite the look of disappointment on his face, it felt as though it wasn’t directed at you, more at himself.  
“Um, going home?”  
“Guess again. You’re going on a date with me, right now.” He said and looked at you, forcing his frown up into a cheeky grin. It didn’t reach his eyes though. Those stayed dark. He set you back fully on your feet to change your shoes, taking your hand once you were finished.  
“Oh, where are we going?”  
“You’ll see~” He said, winking at you before tugging you along.

The pair of you sat down in a restaurant, menus laid down before you. However, before you had a chance to open it, he tugged it out of your grasp. “Don’t worry (y/n), I know what you like.” He smiled sweetly and with innocence. “It’ll be funner if it’s a surprise!” You simply nodded. After all, it was usually best to let Oikawa do what he wanted, life was just less difficult that way. He didn’t need to try and sweet talk you into it.  
When the waiter arrived he spoke quietly, gesturing to the menu before it was taken away. A surprise it would most definitely be. It was quiet for a moment before he sighed and buried his face in his hands. Your eyes grew wide as you reached forward. “T-Tooru? What are you doing?”  
“I’m sorry (y/n).” He said, lightly shaking his head. Wait, what was he sorry about? “I should have tried to stop this sooner.”  
“What do you mean?” You rested your elbows on the table top.  
He reached forward and took your arm with a gentle, calloused hand. “You’re wasting away! I’ve seen your lunches and it only fills up half of your box, maybe. Why are you dieting so much?” You blushed and glanced away. You tugged at your arm but he held firm, chocolate eyes hard. “Are you unhappy?”  
“No, no! I...you make me happy Tooru, really happy. I just...I’m not happy with myself lately.”  
He cocked his head slightly and implored for you to continue.  
“You’re just so...you’re tall and lean and so strong and confident. And I’m just--”  
“The cutest, most amazing girlfriend in the world.” He cut in, finishing your sentence before you had the chance. You began to shake your head and he reached forward, catching your chin in his hand, making you nod.  
“But, all those girls that fawn over you are so much pre--”  
“But I’m not dating them, I’m dating you. Because I want to. Because I love you.” He softly smiled and this time it was genuine. “I love you exactly the way you are. Adorable and smart and kind…”  
You blushed, “Stop stop! I get it.”  
He simply snickered and continued, “And wonderful and sweet and perfect exactly the way she is.” His hand moved from your forearm to your wrist and up to your own hand, intertwining the fingers before kissing the back of it.  
As though on cue the waiter returned with ice cold drinks and platefuls of your favorite foods. You raised an eyebrow and looked at the boy across the table. Now he just wasn’t playing fair. He just shrugged and gave you one of his award winning smiles. “Just promise me you’ll try to eat more.”  
You unrolled your silverware with your free hand and picked up your fork, “I promise.”  
“After all, how am I supposed to make love to my girlfriend if she can’t walk down a hallway on her own?”

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my deviantart (absinthe-fae)


End file.
